| Cutthroat Apathy |
[Dec. 23rd, 2008|12:56 am] |
Most of what I write on this site is depressing, and worse than that, it's boring. Any kind of catharsis I get out of writing down my thoughts is matched by the embarrassment of how incredibly dull these little diatribes sound when I re-read them later. There's just something about journaling my thoughts that makes me feel like I've committed a crime of tedium by publishing them.
So the gist of it is I don't think I'll be updating this site anymore.
CutthroatApathy is the name of a website. It is a comic/blog website that I am doing instead of this. It is not a terribly good website.
I've been wanting to make comics for a long enough time that I finally decided to actually do it, on the modest scale I'd wanted to, and see if it's any fun. I get more satisfaction with sharing things that I find interesting on the Internet than I do by sharing uninteresting things that I wish were interesting about my own life, so I'll be keeping the personal stuff to a minimum on this site. Instead I'll mostly be discussing the weekly comic I post, other comics I enjoy or don't enjoy, or just passing along cool things I find on the Internet or otherwise. The tedious life stuff will go into comic form where it will at least be accompanied by funny pictures.
If you actually read this journal, you may be mentally unstable, and the new site might be able to offer you something. See you there. |
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| Sarah L. Palin Will You Please Go Now! |
[Nov. 13th, 2008|10:36 pm] |
Courtesy of 236.com, all the words I need to use to describe how I feel about Sarah Palin now, then, and in the foreseeable future:
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A Plea to Sarah Palin
Ian Gurvitz
PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP, SARAH PALIN! SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU'RE NOT QUALIFIED TO RUN FOR THE PRESIDENCY, NOW, OR FOUR YEARS FROM NOW! YOU WERE A CAMPAIGN GIMMICK. A HAIL MARY PASS BY A LOSING QUARTERBACK! YOU KNOW NOTHING! YOU ARE TOO DUMB TO BE ON THE NATIONAL STAGE! YOU JUST PLAYED JOHNNY MAC'S LADY MACBETH AND IT DIDN'T WORK OUT SO SHUT THE FUCK UP, NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS ON ANYTHING SO SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! YOU LOST THE ELECTION! SHUT THE FUCK UP! GO BACK TO ALASKA AND STAY THERE WITH YOUR IRRITATING FAMILY AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! THIS IS YOUR 2-MINUTE WARNING ON YOUR 15 MINUTES OF FAME! YOU'RE DONE! YOU'RE OVER! YOU BLEW THE ELECTION, THANK GOD! YOU'RE IRRELEVANT! SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! NO, REALLY! NOBODY GIVES A SHIT THAT YOU OFFERED YOUR SERVICE TO THE COUNTRY! WE DON'T WANT YOUR SERVICE! WE'VE HAD 8 YEARS OF STUPID AND SMUG AND IT NEARLY RUINED US! WE'RE LOSING ONE GRINNING MEGALOMANIAC, WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER! OBAMA WON! YOU LOST! BECAUSE HE'S MORE QUALIFIED! YOU CANNOT BLUFF YOUR WAY INTO NATIONAL OFFICE, SO TAKE THAT FAKE SMALL-TOWN HUMILITY BULLSHIT AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU CANNOT OUTSMART CITY FOLK BECAUSE WE'RE SMARTER THAN YOU SO SHUT THE FUCK UP! GO KILL A MOOSE! FIRE A RELATIVE! HUMP A SNOWPLOW! NOBODY CARES! JUST STAY AWAY FROM THE LOWER 48! YOU LOST! JUST BOW OUT GRACEFULLY AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! GOD DOESN'T WANT YOU TO RUN! HE SHUT THE DOOR IN YOUR FACE! TAKE THE FUCKING HINT AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE GOVERNOR! IF MOOSE COULD VOTE IN ALASKA YOU'D BE GIVING HAND JOBS TO JOE SIXPACKS BEHIND THE LOCAL DINER! STAY HOME! PAL AROUND WITH TODD AND HIS SECESSIONST PALS! CALL PASTOR MUTHEE AND GET AN EXORCISM! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! GET OFF THE NATIONAL STAGE! TAKE THAT NASALLY FUCKING VOICE AND THAT SELF-SATISFIED SMIRK AND YOUR IDIOTIC REACTIONARY BULLSHIT OPINIONS ABOUT THE REAL AMERICA AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! WE'RE THE REAL AMERICA AND IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SERVE US YOU NEED TO DO NOTHING MORE THAN TO PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
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.... There. Thank you, Ian. All the Palin-related bile clogging up my brain is thoroughly soaked up here, and now I can finally think about other things and abandon the nervous twitch I adopted in early September. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. |
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| Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress |
[Nov. 5th, 2008|12:59 am] |
Yes we did!
Although polls going into the final weeks of October showed Sen. Obama in the lead, it remained unclear whether the failing economy, dilapidated housing market, crumbling national infrastructure, health care crisis, energy crisis, and five-year-long disastrous war in Iraq had made the nation crappy enough to rise above 300 years of racial prejudice and make lasting change.
"Today the American people have made their voices heard, and they have said, 'Things are finally as terrible as we're willing to tolerate," said Obama, addressing a crowd of unemployed, uninsured, and debt-ridden supporters. "To elect a black man, in this country, and at this time—these last eight years must have really broken you."
Added Obama, "It's a great day for our nation."
- The Onion
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Seriously though, this feels great. It's hard to describe what a "historic moment" feels like, but the best way I can put it is that it's a jarring, disorienting feeling of massive space being put between now and yesterday, or even a few hours ago. The last time I felt this way was 9/11/2001. Tonight feels better. |
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| Though this is stupidity, yet there is method in't |
[Oct. 31st, 2008|06:21 pm] |
It's like she invented a whole new breed of super-stupid.
Palin displays ignorance of 1st Amendment with bravado, panache
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Palin told WMAL-AM that her criticism of Obama's associations, like those with 1960s radical Bill Ayers and the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, should not be considered negative attacks. Rather, for reporters or columnists to suggest that it is going negative may constitute an attack that threatens a candidate's free speech rights under the Constitution, Palin said.
"If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations," Palin told host Chris Plante, "then I don't know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media."
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Now, stupidity is easy to hate, but when someone's arrogant stupidity threatens to let them fall ass backwards into successfully abridging the rights of others, I hate so hard my temples ache. She's attempting to silence the media under the guise of upholding the 1st Amendment. Frankly, I think either she knows she's incorrect but is cynically trying to push the point anyway or doesn't care if she's right or not. If she's stupid, she's skillfully stupid. Because let's be real here, Alaska is what it is but you don't get to be governor of jack shit without knowing a thing or two about manipulation.
That's what I think is dangerous about the common misconception that Sarah Palin's main fault is lack of experience, or ditziness. She may come off as an airhead, and she might very well be an airhead, but she's a young airhead who has plenty of time to study up well enough that the "experience" argument won't hold up as well in 8, 12, 16, 20 years. But, barring a miracle, what she will retain is her single-minded, Us vs. Them, high school bitch political ambition -- if people don't wise up, it gives her plenty of time to put her abominable fantasies into reality.
But let's end on a high note. What gives me the most hope about this country's future is not the people's acceptance of Barack Obama; it's their rejection of Sarah Palin. Right now she's the least-liked candidate on either ticket. I can only hope that every day in the Oval Office (god willing he gets in there) Obama has in the back of his mind that anything less than a fucking ace job every day for four years opens up the door for Sarah the Jackhole to get her fingers on our Constitution. |
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| Why is Chris Matthews so awkwardly likable? |
[Oct. 31st, 2008|12:37 am] |
Like, a news anchor from a Christopher Guest or Judd Apatow movie.
Newsman or superfan?
He actually dedicates a daily portion of his show to a segment called "Sideshow" where a carousel spins in the background and they play clown music. This is during a show called "Hardball" allegedly about tough questions on serious political topics. As pictured above, today Matthews wore a Phillies hat and big stupid red sweater as he narrowed his eyes and spoke gravely about the presidential race.
In the infotainment of cable news, there really aren't many personalities I genuinely like. Fox News has Shepard Smith, who's on during the day, CNN has Campbell Brown, but otherwise the networks are void of likability. On MSNBC there is Rachel Maddow who is amazingly pleasant but sounds a little too hipstery in real life. I agree with Olbermann at least as often as not, but I would never want to meet the man and once I'm done gorging on election coverage Nov. 5th, I doubt I'll watch his show anymore.
Chris Matthews is in a league of his own. Beyond the ideologue spitting match moderator, he's half Fred Willard-esque man-child, half History Channel zealot, all oddball. I'm not quite sure why he's on television. He's well on his way to being a fascinatingly senile old man who I would eagerly have a very awkward conversations with over some ridiculous lunch like ribs and ice cream sandwiches. We'd talk old movies or antique slang and I'd keep a polite straight face and everyone once in awhile slip in a joke he half-gets but laughs anyway, maybe even simultaneously admitting he doesn't get it.
I think that's what it comes down to. At least two or three times per show, Matthews will laugh awkwardly at something that is either not a joke or not funny. Sometimes he's obtusely rude to guests but somehow without venom, usually cracking up as he sends them off into the void of a commercial break.
Part of me genuinely believes that news should be boring and that the blurring line between real news and Jon Stewart's fake news is a sign of the apocalypse. The other part is less of a douche and admits I wouldn't be watching the news if it was boring and that shit like Chris Matthews' show is too funny to let die. |
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| all youtube forwards, ALL THE TIME |
[Oct. 29th, 2008|09:10 pm] |
The latest McCain web ad comes courtesy of director David Lynch. Or whoever produced the videos for MK-ULTRA. It's not offensive -- it's just flat out fucked up. Tell me what you make of this.
I'm not sure who this is targeting. Aren't all the country's fear-prone voters already sufficiently shitting their pants? Are there sleeper cell voters whose voting directive is activated by flashing static and bad Photoshop? Are parents of kidnapped children supposed to get flashbacks of their tormentor's ransom video and instinctively vote against the dark man with the beady eyes?
And who made the call to use a font usually reserved for late-night newscasts about child rapists? What the fuck is going on here? This isn't Obama-booster rage I'm expressing (in all honestly I can't see this pushing many votes) -- this is me sitting down and being unable to process what I just watched. Maybe that's the intention? Well, luckily I already cast my vote, so if I wake up tomorrow morning with a dry mouth and an uncontrollable desire to vote Republican, I'm still in the clear. |
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| Jesus Christ Superbowl |
[Oct. 29th, 2008|12:45 pm] |
SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY
BE THERE
QUALCOMM STADIUM, SAN DIEGO
NOVEMBER FIRST
UNITED MASSIVE FASTING AND PRAYER
If it's reasonable to single out a "weirdest part", I'm surprised they got a Super Dave sound-alike to spread the word. In a video like this, priority #1 has really got to be "make it clear this is not satire". Apparently gravitas took priority this time. Unfortunate. |
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